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I have a friend that believes
everyone has an inner child. She also believes a bunch of similar
“deep-reflective-inner-thinking” stuff that is way to complex for me to
understand because I can’t see it or touch it. She tells me its okay for
me to be shallow and superficial in this way because I’m a “visual
learner.” Apparently I have to be able to see, touch, and “tinker” with
things before I’ll believe they exist. I’m okay with this. I have a hard
enough time dealing with things in my world that I CAN see and touch. I
don’t have any energy left to deal with things I can’t prove exist.
Still, my friend is convinced there is something wrong with me. She
tells me I have very odd colors in my aura and recommends I hang
crystals around my office to enhance my Feng Shui. Perhaps I’m beginning
to wake up to some of these new ideas. I’ve come across several very
spiritually enlightened people lately and I’m wondering if maybe they’re
onto something. Just recently, I had my chakra balanced by a guru. It’s
not unlike taking your car to the shop for a spiritual oil-change.
Me: “Just change the oil and there’s this soft ‘clunk’ in the front end
when I turn sharply.”
Chakra mechanic: “Mr. DeVoe, we’ve investigated the clunking noise you
reported. It looks like your third chakra has slipped out of place and
its wearing against your second chakra. When you turn sharply, the
misaligned second chakra is putting stress on your aura. Here, take a
look at this Kirlian photograph. Have you noticed any strange colors in
your aura lately?”
Me: “How much is all this going to cost?”
Chakra mechanic: “If you don’t get this taken care of now, it could be a
costly repair later. We’ll need to keep the car an extra day while we
bring in some bells from Tibet to realign your Chakra. Do you have a
ride or can I schedule a shuttle?”
I went home that day without my chakra or aura. I didn’t really feel any
different without it. Perhaps I didn’t miss it because I was distracted
by my shallow and superficial visual ways. Still, once everything was
tuned up and back from the shop, I felt pretty good. The clunk was gone,
and they vacuumed the carpet and hung a crystal from my rear view mirror
to freshen my Chi. They also left one of those paper mats in the
floorboard to let me know they didn’t want to smudge my carpet with
their “shop feet.”
Perhaps this is why my inner child in now being encouraged to “act up.”
The 17-year-old inner child recently purchased an 8-track car stereo and
a Sparkomatic power booster for the Jeep. Sometimes the 20-22 year old
college keg party inner child brings out a significantly younger inner
child. Lets also not forget the 17 year old inner child that went to the
Memorial Day drive-in movie marathon with a water jug filled with purple
Cool-Aid and Everclear. I don’t remember what the first two movies were
about because we came for the last one -- Led Zeppelin’s “The Song
Remains the Same.” Thanks to the Everclear, I don’t remember the movie
we came for either. It’s becoming clear to me that adulthood is a
self-preservation instinct designed to keep the aging body from being
killed by stupid things your inner children are trying to get you to do.
I hope my enlightened circle of friends are pleased with my spiritual
progress. I still don’t know anything about all that stuff but I think
there IS something to it. I can’t see it but I’ve accepted the idea that
things might exist even though I can’t see or touch them. I wonder if
they make an “Enlightenment for Dummies” book?
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